0412 – shahrizal текст песни

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i don’t even know where to start
should i write about the girl who broke my heart?
or how bout my struggles and issues
family relations broken down to pieces
or how bout how lonely i get?
working alone, only i got my back
f-cking sucks but it is what it is
gotta move on if you really want success

and i know i need to push through
mom’s going crazy, she just cried in the bathroom
the bills have been stacking, accounts have been sinking
she looking for some headroom
hope she knows that i love her to death
hope she knows that i’m trying my best
when it’s hard, it’s just a f-cking mess
god please let me have a rest

at war with the demons inside me
whispering sweet nothings, i feel it rise in me
suppresing’s too hard, i think i might have given in
i think i might have fallen deep
six feet under doesn’t look so steep
f-cking crazy this is how i feel
f-cking crazy times have turned to this

back then i was a cheery kid
back then i had none to fix
back then was a fuller plate
back then there was one more plate
back then was back then, know i need to move on, no time for back thens
but i guess i’m tryna work on this
fix my mind before i fix the rest

last night had a talk with my mom, not gonna lie that’s the first real convo we had since 09′
poured all the problems and troubles on our minds
closure that we needed ever since my dad died
f-ck, it’s so crazy

i think i might end up alone
cause how the f-ck can i find someone if i can’t even find myself yet
delusions of my mind is my greatest threat
or maybe i got trust issues, always hopping round cause i’d rather hurt than to be hurt by someone else
i got trust issues
it’s selfish i know but i couldn’t care less
morally jaded, close to empty inside
fool me one, fool you twice
fool me nonce, fool you thrice
gone for the night, i ain’t coming back
i come alive at the night time
i like me better when i’m faded off the bottle
drowning out all my sorrows
that’s the only time i can ever really feel myself
that’s the only time i ever like myself

- shahrizal текст песни